Life doesn't always turn out like you planned. In fact, in my case, life seems to be nothing like you thought it would. But that's the great thing that i am discovering. My life has been full of ups and downs. Especially with God. One minute I loved Him and the next minute I was following his polar opposite. It's just amazing how he has NEVER once let go of me. I ran as far away from Him as possible but His love has drawn me back and I am more committed and willing than ever.
One of the questions that i have been pondering for a couple weeks now is: How am I going to serve God? I don't want to live a life and have my faith on the side, i want my faith to be at the center of my life (haha, just realized that relates back to winter conference). So, i wanted to try and figure this out by first taking a look into my past. My life wasn't the easiest, but no one's is. I have a drama queen for a mother but the polar opposite for a father. A silent and stern step-father but a compassionate and talkative step-mother. It's like living in two worlds. The bridge over this gap was my Grandmother. God really molded something special when he created her. Anyways, what I'm trying to get to is God has continually placed challenges in front of me. I've stumbled through some. crawled through others, and just plain failed in some areas. The point is, God has made me strong. One thing that I am good at is taking malicious criticism. Throw at me what you will but at the end of the day it really won't phase me or change who I am. My life, all the way up to this very moment, has been about God shaping my heart for the future, shaping it to serve Him. I came to college thinking i wanted to do something in the ag industry but man, i was sure wrong. God has a totally different plan for me. He's directed more in the path of serving Him through the church or possibly through missions. I really don't know exactly what His plan is but I trust Him. So, with that trust comes the leap of faith. I've been checking out some Bible colleges and I believe that may be what God is conveying to me. I just feel led to work directly for Him, in His house. What an amazing thing that would be. So I am continuously praying that he may show me the way. I want my life to serve God fully, that is truly my heart's desire.