Sunday, March 30, 2008


Nesta and I decided to try a new church today in Fresno. I haven't been to any churches since I moved here so I thought it was about time to start going. We went to Celebration Church, the name fits it pretty well. It's a very large church (and seems to have much more money than i'm used to in a church!). Eventhough anyone can attend, you can tell that the church is pretty youth oriented; geared to young adults and what not. You walk into the sanctuary and it's set up like a christian rock concert and that's how their worship feels as well Pretty cool i must say. From what I gathered, they have a few different pastors that kind of take turns preaching on Sundays and today's service was pretty good. We took a look at John 2:1-9 (i think that's the right verses, not quite sure). The pastor was pretty energetic and his message was really good as well. The church is very vocal. What i mean by that is they like to shout "amen" and "thank Jesus", stuff like that. I've never been in a church like that so it was definitely a different experience but i really liked it. They have a few things coming up that I would like to attend. Overall, great morning at a new church with a great message!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

John 3:16

So, i was getting out of my car about 15 minutes ago to walk up to my dorm and get ready for the day. In the passenger seat I had my two pillows and a bright yellow forever 21 bag that contained a few clothing items. I reached for the pillows and the bag when the bag tipped over, exposing the bottom of it. Now, i don't examine my shopping bag so i have never noticed this before but on the bottom of the bag in bold lettering was printed "John 3:16". It put a smile right on my face. It was just cool to see that even a chain clothing store is sharing the gospel in a little way. Kind of like In-N-Out with verses printed on their cups and other things. It's just one of those things that makes you pause for a second to thank God for even the smallest action that In-N-Out and Forever 21 are making. Even the small things can catch someone's attention and bring them to the father.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Spring Break I guess I should update how Spring Break went? Well, it was definitely a break but, honestly, it wasn't that fun. Yeah, i went to Cabo but I was there with just my parents. It's not that fun when you have no one to hang out with. I just basically slept in, tanned, went to dinner, then bed. This continued for a week. Yeah, not the most fun thing ever but all in all, it was nice to have a break.
The highlight of break however was definitely going to church on Easter Sunday. I love going back home and to my home church to see all the people that I miss while I'm in Fresno. Also, The Oaks was just so lively yesterday! We truly had a great service. There's just something about meeting God within the Church that I just love. I love watching the "on fire" Christians and just admiring all their passion. I really want to do ministry. Every time I'm in a Church setting I just feel like I'm home, especially at the Oaks. Man, God is really molding me and it is just so awesome!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008


Thank you for continually being so patient with me. You are truly amazing.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Our Hearts

"A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man must seek Him first in order to find her." -Unknown

A great quote, and it is truly one of my favorites. Our (not just a woman) hearts should be so lost in God that we have to first seek our Maker in order to find what we're looking for. What we're looking for doesn't necessarily pertain to just prince charming. It can mean that as well as success, happiness, servanthood, almost anything that you want it to be really. Just fill in the blank quite honestly. In everything we do, and atempt to do, we should seek God first. God is the only one who truly knows us completely and loves us wholly. He has created us and He holds the map to our lives. He also gave us free will to either choose to follow Him closely or wander off on our own. I've tried wandering, and that wasn't fun. My heart is so lost in God that I consult Him in the decisions that I make and He provides me with the answers I need. It may not be in my time but it is always in the right time, which is His time. So bury your heart in God, and consult Him in whatever you do. Whether it's love, success, happiness, etc, He has it all planned out for you. Trust in Him.

How is your fire burning?

So, I’m here in Mexico sitting in my own selfishness and high-maintenance standards when I read a friend’s blog and it truly humbled me. It made me think about my life, about our lives as Christians and serving God. It made me think to those non-believers who question God’s word, wondering why everything was so different in Biblical times…

In Biblical times…How common is that phrase? In biblical times miracles happened, in biblical times families dropped everything to follow God, in biblical times Christians seemed to be much more passionate…Sometimes, as humans, we are not able to look around and realize that was happened in “biblical times” is happening right now!

Miracles: Miracles are abundant in the Bible, and, man, are they really a true testimony to an Almighty God! In many conversations I have had with non-believers, people commonly ask, “If your God is so mighty and if He can perform miracles, why aren’t there miracles today?” This is the question they ask to further go on and try to convince me that the Bible is just some long literary work. Well, my reply to their egging questions is there are so many miracles, just open your eyes! What many view today as “coincidence” I can view as a miracle. Take, for instance, a friend’s surgery. During the surgery a vein was cut and it “so happened” that the best surgeon for that was prepping for another surgery and was able to get to my friend real quick to patch his vein. Coincidence? No, small miracle that made all the difference and personally strengthened my faith in my maker.

Giving Up Everything To Follow God: We really don’t “see” this often today. But man, is it happening! It may not be so noticeable because our churches are so full of EC Christians (not to offend, your relationship with God is your relationship) but when you meet a Family, who truly lives for God, it is so amazing. What is even more amazing is the impact that that one family can have on so many people. God truly uses us, and when we give up everything to follow Him, that is when he really uses us to make a much bigger impact, for His glory.

Passion: Once again, something we don’t “see” so often but open your eyes! Get out of your comfort zone and listen to God and you will be so on fire for Him! I’m not saying go to a conference or a study, but truly give it all to Him. Overseas, Christians are so passionate! But a lot of that is truly because they have given EVERYTHING to God. They risk their lives in order to serve Him and if you’re risking your life you better be pretty adamant about something. God is worth it, and that is what makes me so passionate!

One thing I have to remind myself of every day is that God is truly amazing. I watch friends who are like family go through so many obstacles but they have remained so faithful to God and that just truly inspires me. I am living in a world where non-believers question my faith and God’s words and, until now, I really haven’t been able to convince myself and them that what happened during the time that the Bible was written is happening now. I get so absorbed in my selfish life that I forget to open my eyes and witness what God is truly doing to me and to so many others around me. In a sense, we are in Biblical times. God is using us NOW, just like he was then. He is performing miracles, guiding families, and lighting a fire underneath us that I really cannot even begin to describe. I am just now getting so excited, not just for me, but for the world. God has amazing plans for what He created and I am so glad to be a part of all of that. My fire is lit and going strong. How is your fire burning?


...I'm indecisive and don't know what the hell to do. That's why.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Foundation on God

I apologize in advanced, a lot of my blogs have and will be mainly focused on this subject as it is my future...
Well, as usual, I'm contemplating God and what he wants for me. I want to be willing to serve God but sometimes I find myself less than that. I have always been one who is afraid to step out of the box but why should I be afraid when God is right there at my side? I just feel ashamed when I know God wants me to move in a certain direction and I either stay where I'm at or don't move at all. Its frustrating for me because I want so much to go along with what I view the future to be but I think that God has something completely different in mind. I need to remember that he will always provide me with my needs and that as long as I walk with Him i will be spiritually fulfilled but as I become older and more of an adult (if you could say that) it becomes increasingly harder for me to make those leaps. And it shouldn't, it really shouldn't. God has taken care of me quite well and I have no reason to not trust Him. Not saying that I don't trust Him but by not listening to Him I am showing a form of distrust and I really hate that. I don't want to make excuses either but I know that is exactly what I am doing to myself in my head. It just seems such a struggle right now. I have no clue how Paul followed God so well in Acts, I don't believe that I can do the same. I guess I'm just scared because I am used to the life that i live right now and I am just so scared of being uprooted. I don't really have the greatest foundation and I know that my foundation should be built upon God and God only. I know exactly how to do that, and i know exactly how He wants me to do that but i'm scared of taking those leaps. God has led me on quite a journey and he has only barely begun. When God says move i need to move but i often find myself stuck, almost like i'm cemented on my path, leaving me stationary with no positive forward progress. I'm frozen in my tracks, quite literally. I just need to trust that God has everything in His hands and that in the end everything is for the better. Yet, I'm a little intimidated on how people will perceive that, even though i shouldn't care. It's just such a tough journey, a tough decision to take that journey. I definitely need a lot of prayer and a lot of help.

Monday, March 10, 2008

What do I want to do with my life?

Ah, the subject Steve is so tired of hearing about: What the heck am I going to do/Where am I going to be in the next few years? AKA, COLLEGE?! Okay, so I've probably beaten this one to death but i have to weigh out my pros and cons. Some input from YOU would always be appreciated eventhough i know that this decision is completely mine to make.

Choice A: Stay at CSU Fresno
Um, yeah, like it says. I could stay at CSU Fresno and do business or ag business and just keep on truckin. Problem: I don't like Fresno! Also, I just don't really feel like it's where I'm suppose to be. SO, it's a possibility to stay but not a very likely one.

Choice B: Cal Poly?
So, I could transfer to Poly as a Junior. Good thing: Poly is freakin awesome! I already know some people there and they are pretty cool. Also, it is so gorgeous and I've always wanted to live near the coast. Problem: I just may not be able to get in and even if I do what am I going to major in?

Choice C: Azusa, Biola, Life Pacific, etc...
I could go the route of a Christian college and to Christian Ministry. Problem: Totally new places where I know nobody and I'm farther from home. But, this is something that I think God may want me to do. I'm not quite sure yet, It'll take a lot of praying but it is definitely awesome. I would love to work in a church and use those organization skills God gave me!

Choice D: CSU Bakersfield
Yeah, kind of a step backwards but not really. The positives: I would live rent free, be close to Steve, study business, and eventually maybe take over my Dad's business. That would be a great opportunity (and a great salary) but I don't know if its what i really want for my life. If i did CSUB i would be able to settle down faster and have a steady income but i would also have to sacrifice a lot by moving back home and being so committed to the business...

So, yeah...there's a lot to think about... Basically, I need to figure out what the heck i want to do with my life. Kind of hard to figure out when you're 18 and so new to everything. So, please keep in your prayers, that God will guide my decision and that, in the end, i will be happy and successful (not necessarily financially successful, just happy and on track with God). Once again, input is always great!

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Love Bako

Saturday (Yesterday) was pretty much an awesome day! Got to sleep in a bit, that's always good! Then, breakfast at the club, and then 18 holes of GOLF! Oh My! Haha, I have NEVER played 18 holes before so it was quite the experience. I didn't suck as bad as i thought I would, thanks to the awesome help of Steve! I hit some good ones, and I hit some really bad ones but the point was just being able to be outside for a few hours and enjoy God's creation because it was just a beautiful day.
After golf i took a much needed nap! Then, we went to the Bakersfield Condor's game. For those of you who don't know, its Ice Hockey. The condors lost to Idaho but I wasn't really there to watch the game. WE had one of the box suite things with a bunch of coworkers so i really had a blast catching up with everyone and of course i loved spending that time with Steve as well. He fits in everywhere i go :).
So, yeah, that was my day. Pretty awesome. Just reiterates why I love comeing back to Bakersfield...

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Serving Him

Life doesn't always turn out like you planned. In fact, in my case, life seems to be nothing like you thought it would. But that's the great thing that i am discovering. My life has been full of ups and downs. Especially with God. One minute I loved Him and the next minute I was following his polar opposite. It's just amazing how he has NEVER once let go of me. I ran as far away from Him as possible but His love has drawn me back and I am more committed and willing than ever.
One of the questions that i have been pondering for a couple weeks now is: How am I going to serve God? I don't want to live a life and have my faith on the side, i want my faith to be at the center of my life (haha, just realized that relates back to winter conference). So, i wanted to try and figure this out by first taking a look into my past. My life wasn't the easiest, but no one's is. I have a drama queen for a mother but the polar opposite for a father. A silent and stern step-father but a compassionate and talkative step-mother. It's like living in two worlds. The bridge over this gap was my Grandmother. God really molded something special when he created her. Anyways, what I'm trying to get to is God has continually placed challenges in front of me. I've stumbled through some. crawled through others, and just plain failed in some areas. The point is, God has made me strong. One thing that I am good at is taking malicious criticism. Throw at me what you will but at the end of the day it really won't phase me or change who I am. My life, all the way up to this very moment, has been about God shaping my heart for the future, shaping it to serve Him. I came to college thinking i wanted to do something in the ag industry but man, i was sure wrong. God has a totally different plan for me. He's directed more in the path of serving Him through the church or possibly through missions. I really don't know exactly what His plan is but I trust Him. So, with that trust comes the leap of faith. I've been checking out some Bible colleges and I believe that may be what God is conveying to me. I just feel led to work directly for Him, in His house. What an amazing thing that would be. So I am continuously praying that he may show me the way. I want my life to serve God fully, that is truly my heart's desire.