Monday, February 25, 2008

To God Be The Glory!

Oh my gosh, what an AMAZING weekend! God really moved this week and he touched so many people. It was just so amazing to be a part of it! You see, Friday was the first night of the InterVarsity Winter Conference in Bakersfield and it lasted all the way until Sunday afternoon. We stayed in the First Presbyterian Church of Bakersfield the whole weekend and it was a pretty awesome experience. About 200 InterVarsity students showed up to strengthen their relationship with God.
I was in Track 1: Identity. Basically, this track was all about finding your identity in God and putting him first in your life. We did four small seminars (about 25 minutes or so) that dealt with Relationships, Money, Sexuality, and Community. I really enjoyed the first one, the other three really didn't spark too much in me.
The relationship seminar really got the wheels turning in my head especially since i really want Steve and I to make it and I really want God to be the center of us. Looking back at my notes from this seminar, one of the things that stuck out to me was "Make sure that God has your heart first! Two broken people coming together will just produce one broken relationship." So true! No matter what, God ALWAYS has to come first in order to have a healthy relationship that glorifies God. It was a pretty cool seminar.
That night, Jessica Bauer (InterVarsity Staff Member) spoke to us about "The Real Good News". This was an amazing experience. I obvioulsy know that God forgives us for our sins but the way she presented this was so hard-hitting. One thing from her session that keeps playing in my mind is that there is nothing that you have done that is too horrific for God. NOTHING! That was amazing news to me because sometimes i really don't feel worthy of God's love because i am a sinner and my relationship really wasn't one that glorifies God. She told us about having a repentant heart and how that means to have a true desire to change and do things GOD's way. This is where God hit me over the head with a sledgehammer (metaphorically of course). It was such and intense, emotion filled moment. I honestly heard the audible God and i haven't heard Him in so long! He told me that I need to follow Him and His word. I cannot make my own rules for my life, he has already set them for me. In order to grow closer to God i had to remove everything that was keeping me from Him. It's kinda like a cavity, you cannot put a cap over a decayed tooth without getting all of the decay out of there (thanks Layla!). That's what i had to do and man, this is not going to be easy. I re-dedicated my life to God and following HIS rules. This meant that I had to talk to Steve.
I was nervous to tell him what God has done in my life and what he was telling me. After being sexually active for over four years I had to put an end to it. Telling someone that you've been sexually active with that you can no longer be sexual with them isn't easy. I was so surprised and happy that he was incredibly supportive of it. So, I'm so excited for us! God is moving in me and in us and it is such an exciting time. I'm glad that we can have God as the MAIN focus of our relationship and begin to glorify Him through our actions.
I ask you to please pray for Steve and I. This isn't going to be easy for us but in the long run we truly believe that this will make us a stronger couple.
Praise to God for all of His amazing lessons!

Monday, February 18, 2008


Okay, the last blog really didn't reflect at all what I wanted to say. I was too worried about offending people so lets try this one again:
This weekend was a pretty good one. Friday and Saturday night I stayed at Bryan's lake house with him, Steve, Kevin, and Mantor. On Saturday night Brad and Ryan came up as well. We had a pretty fun time. Friday night we had an awesome bonfire and pretty much just sat there and drank. We played some drinking games when we went back to the house and then hit the hay. Vibrant Kevin woke us all up (well, Mantor was able to sleep through it) to go "hunting". This means we took a pellet gun and went looking for things to shoot at. Well, we really didn't find anything but Kevin did find a pretty sweet paddle boat. So, we pushed that into the deeper part of the creek and paddled around for a bit. Bryan and Steve joined us. A pretty funny picture actually... All four of us in a tiny paddle boat with Steve standing up trying to find fish to shoot at in the water, Ha. After that was lunch, then pretty much the rest of the day was filled with redneck activities. It was pretty awesome. Brad and Ryan showed up around 2am i believe. I was pretty much asleep when they got there.
Steve and I left at about 10 or so to go back to Fresno on Sunday. I am NEVER happy to return to Fresno but the Daytona 500 race was on at noon and Steve did NOT want to miss that. I was originally going to do homework and such while he went to Tanner's to watch the race but after about 30 min at the apartment several people showed up and I really didn't feel like being there alone with them so i tagged along. Nascar wasn't as boring as i thought it would be. I learned quite a bit about it on Sunday and I think i actually enjoyed it. Not as good as football but i kind of like it, lol. Yeah, this weekend was definitely a redneck weekend!
So, Nascar took up the majority of the afternoon. After that we went to eat at the RDH and then just hung out at the apartment for a bit. At about 10 or so people started coming over. A few girls came over that I didn't know but that was okay. It was kinda an awkward situation quite honestly. It definitely reminded why I really don't like being at the apartment. As long as Steve is there it isn't so bad. No major incidents this time, thank God, but several things did piss me off quite a bit. I think I hid it well but I don't know. I don't want to be a bitch but some things got really close to crossing the line. Oh well, no harm no foul i guess?
Anyways, that was my weekend. Pretty normal. I'm definitely looking forward to the winter conference in bakersfield next weekend and having some major God time. I definitely need it. Also, my parents will be home so I will spend some time with them and we'll try to get this whole changing college thing figured out. I really want out of this town ASAP and I think God is ready to move me as well. i guess we'll see...


Hmmm...Well, this weekend was actually a pretty good one. Got out of Fresno for about the 4th week in a row now, that always makes me happy. Friday was Bryan's Birthday and he invited some people over to his lakehouse for a couple nights. Steve and I stayed Friday and Saturday and we definitely had a good time. The lakehouse was pretty basic. There was no bedrooms in it nor bathrooms. You had to walk to the bathroom that was away from the house. It was still pretty awesome though. We were right on the lake. I really didn't hink we would be THAT close. On Saturday energetic Kevin woke us all up at about 9 to go shooting and what not. We ended up finding a paddle boat and dragged it into the little creek thing i guess you could call it. Pretty fun actually. So, Saturday was pretty much filled with lots of sun and good old fashioned fun. Mantor and Kevin found a pretty big canoe and they were pretty much on the lake all day drinking beers and having a good time. The weekend totally brought the redneck out of all of us. Thanks Bryan!!!
So, Steve and I came back Sunday afternoon so that he could go watch Nascar at Tanner's. I originally wasn't going to go with him but there were some issues so i tagged along. I actually learned a lot about Nascar. Scarily, i really didn't find it that boring. Football is still much better but Nascar isn't as bad as i originally thought it was. So, that was pretty cool. That took up most of our afternoon. Later in the evening some people came over to the apartment. Some of them I knew and some of them I didn't. It was okay. Kinda awkward but not bad i suppose.
So, yeah, that was my weekend. Not extremely exciting but it was nice, for the most part. :)

Monday, February 11, 2008


For those of you who don't know, I have a pretty tough decision to make here in the next few months. Fresno has been, well, an interesting experience and I'm pretty much over this town. I am hoping to transfer to Cal Poly San Luis Obispo but I am unable to do that until at least Spring '09, maybe even later. So, i can either stick it out one or two more semesters at CSU Fresno or I can go home and attend BC or CSUB while waiting to get into Cal Poly. I really don't want to stay in Fresno for so many reasons. On the other hand, I have some amazing friends up here that I am going to miss dearly. Also, if I moved back to Bakersfield I would be living with my parents once again and that just seems like a giant step backwards. Yet, if i were to live in Bako again I would be gauranteed my old job (i'll be working there over the summer no matter what) and i could work in between classes and such. That would definitely be nice for my wallet but it isn't really necessary. Also, Steve may be going back to Bako as well if everything for the KCSO (Kern County Sheriff's Office) goes through. So, it would be nice to stay close to Steve for a little while longer. Yet again, I want to go to Cal Poly no matter what so, inevitably, Steve and I will have to deal with distance at some point. I just don't know if it would be best to deal with that sooner or later. So, I've got a lot to think about: Stick it out in Fresno and then go to Cal Poly or move back home for some time and then transfer. I definitely will be praying for God to show me what He wants, your prayers would be helpful as well. Thanks.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Just a Fun Update.

Basically, this weekend was most definitely awesome! Steve surprised me with a trip to the coast and it was tons of fun! We stayed in Morro Bay for two nights and basically just chilled on the beach in Pismo. With everything that has been going on in Fresno it was a really nice break for the two of us. The weekend was filled with great food, tanning, freezing col ocean water, and so much more! We went to Shoreline Calvary Chapel this morning for the 11:15am service. Yeah, that was definitely a great sermon. The pastor was crazy energetic which really brought the sermon alive. I definitely will be going to to Shoreline the next time I'm on the coast. So, yeah, that was our weekend.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Just a small Disclaimer I guess you can say:

This blog is a personal account of my life and my personal growth. As you can tell, I am not perfect and no one is. I have made a lot of bad choices in my past but all of that doesn't matter now. The amazing thing about God is that he sent his son down to Earth to die on the cross; to die for OUR sins so that we may be forgiven. I am human, and with that comes flaws and mistakes that, hopefully, you learn from. This site is not meant for offense but if i do offend someone, oh well. Not everyone is comfortable writing about their struggles and their personal testimonies. To everyone out there who feels the need to write hateful comments, why do read my blog? If you don't like me and you are just here to judge me you are wasting your time. In the end, my Maker is the only judge of my life and I will continue to live my life for Him, not for you. I'll be praying for all of you, I'm sorry if that offends you.