Oh my gosh, what an AMAZING weekend! God really moved this week and he touched so many people. It was just so amazing to be a part of it! You see, Friday was the first night of the InterVarsity Winter Conference in Bakersfield and it lasted all the way until Sunday afternoon. We stayed in the First Presbyterian Church of Bakersfield the whole weekend and it was a pretty awesome experience. About 200 InterVarsity students showed up to strengthen their relationship with God.
I was in Track 1: Identity. Basically, this track was all about finding your identity in God and putting him first in your life. We did four small seminars (about 25 minutes or so) that dealt with Relationships, Money, Sexuality, and Community. I really enjoyed the first one, the other three really didn't spark too much in me.
The relationship seminar really got the wheels turning in my head especially since i really want Steve and I to make it and I really want God to be the center of us. Looking back at my notes from this seminar, one of the things that stuck out to me was "Make sure that God has your heart first! Two broken people coming together will just produce one broken relationship." So true! No matter what, God ALWAYS has to come first in order to have a healthy relationship that glorifies God. It was a pretty cool seminar.
That night, Jessica Bauer (InterVarsity Staff Member) spoke to us about "The Real Good News". This was an amazing experience. I obvioulsy know that God forgives us for our sins but the way she presented this was so hard-hitting. One thing from her session that keeps playing in my mind is that there is nothing that you have done that is too horrific for God. NOTHING! That was amazing news to me because sometimes i really don't feel worthy of God's love because i am a sinner and my relationship really wasn't one that glorifies God. She told us about having a repentant heart and how that means to have a true desire to change and do things GOD's way. This is where God hit me over the head with a sledgehammer (metaphorically of course). It was such and intense, emotion filled moment. I honestly heard the audible God and i haven't heard Him in so long! He told me that I need to follow Him and His word. I cannot make my own rules for my life, he has already set them for me. In order to grow closer to God i had to remove everything that was keeping me from Him. It's kinda like a cavity, you cannot put a cap over a decayed tooth without getting all of the decay out of there (thanks Layla!). That's what i had to do and man, this is not going to be easy. I re-dedicated my life to God and following HIS rules. This meant that I had to talk to Steve.
I was nervous to tell him what God has done in my life and what he was telling me. After being sexually active for over four years I had to put an end to it. Telling someone that you've been sexually active with that you can no longer be sexual with them isn't easy. I was so surprised and happy that he was incredibly supportive of it. So, I'm so excited for us! God is moving in me and in us and it is such an exciting time. I'm glad that we can have God as the MAIN focus of our relationship and begin to glorify Him through our actions.
I ask you to please pray for Steve and I. This isn't going to be easy for us but in the long run we truly believe that this will make us a stronger couple.
Praise to God for all of His amazing lessons!