Tuesday, August 18, 2009


I really don't know what to say here but I feel that I need to write something.
Chris' memorial was on Saturday and it was beautiful. John Bryant shared a great message and it was nice to hear some stories from Chris' friends. coworkers, and even acquaintances. It was very nice to see the number of people that showed up. Such a testimony to a wonderful person. I must admit, as beautiful as the memorial was, it was very difficult to sit through. I felt like I was hit by a truck, for lack of a better example. It made Chris' passing real. Not that it wasn't before Saturday, it just made everything so final. So I guess now life is suppose to move forward but I feel somewhat stuck. People say things get easier with time but in this situation, it feels exactly like the opposite. Everyday I still go to the Champions, and everyday it gets harder. Things just don't feel right without Chris. We had a barbecue last night and it just felt weird to me. Chris was missing, and there is no way to fix that problem. It's really a hole in my heart that only God will be able to fill.
Also, my sleeping pattern has yet to become normal again. I am so deprived of sleep and I am sure that is not making any of this better. I'm unsure how to fix that as well. I have a Doctor's appointment next week so hopefully we can discuss how to treat the sleep deprivation.
Like I said, things just feel weird. I find myself writing this midday at work in a horrible attempt to keep myself from a complete breakdown. I really hate all this. I'm not angry at God, just upset at the situation. I know that, even through death, Chris is continuing to touch so many lives and I'm being so incredibly selfish wishing that he was still here but I can't help it. Also, if I feel this way, I can't imagine how Chris' family, and Emily is feeling. I actually feel quite selfish for posting a blog about my heartache when I know others are suffering much more. I just can't quite help it. I miss Chris so much. I miss our theoretical conversations, his theories on certain biblical passages, and his jokes about my love life that always contained a serious and true message. I'm sad that my future husband and my future kids will never have the chance to meet Chris. I am also sad that my brother and mother were unable to meet him because I believe he would have truly inspired them like he did me.
I should probably end this blog because at this rate I could seriously go on forever. For those of you who are missing Chris, just as I am, I pray for all of us everyday and I know Chris is praying for us to. May God fill that void we contain in our hearts and may He comfort us. If I know one thing, I know that Chris wants us to know he is truly happy and we need to keep our eyes upon the Lord. Thank you to those of you who have been praying for aching hearts. Your prayers are definitely being heard and answered. God is still good, and He is still victorious. That's really all I have to say right now.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

A week

So, It's been a week and I really don't know what to say. I miss Chris very much. Everything just seems so different. I've been spending nights at home lately and I really don't like it. I truly sleep horribly and I wake up to so many cruel dreams. I'm still in denial I will admit. I still can't believe Chris isn't here and I really don't want to believe it. All I can do is keep praying to God and praising Him for the little things and asking Him for comfort and strength. Even through the sadness and anxiety, have been able to focus and act on things that Chris has inspired me to do. I am ready for school to start so I can get closer to getting my bachelor's of science in Nursing. Chris really inspired me to get into the medical field and through helping to take care of Chris, I know that I am more than capable of acing my classes to help other cancer patients strive.
Thank you Chris so much for being such an inspiration. You have softened my heart and helped to show me what my passion truly is. You're amazing bud and I can't wait to share your testimony with anyone who will listen. I am so proud to be your friend.
Saturday is going to be so hard. I'm not ready for it but I know as long as I keep focused on the Lord, everything is going to be okay.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Until I see you again

I've been meaning to update my blog for a very long time now but I just haven't known what to say.
Yesterday evening, Chris Champion passed away. Friends and family had been gathering around him for days, preparing their hearts and saying their goodbyes, but I don't believe anyone can fully prepare themselves for the death of a loved one. Last night was filled with tears, praise, and worship. It was amazing to me that even through all the sadness, we could still give God thanks for so many things. That's really a te4stimony to Chris. Just like his father, he wanted to give all the Glory, through his life and even death, if God called him for it. In his 20 years here, he has affected so many people. His wisdom and faith far surpassed his age. I'm so proud to say that Chris was my best friend, more like a brother than anything. I am so happy that I was able to spend the last three months helping him to get better, and even when he didn't, I'm glad I just got to be there for him, making him as comfortable as possible. Although my heart is aching terribly, I get comfort in knowing Chris is with his Heavenly Father and his dad, John. I especially get comfort in knowing Chris now has a glorified body. He can run, and jump, and dance, without pain or a limp. He can sing and praise without worrying about what the next scan is going to show, or how the next surgery is going to go. He was so brave, so gracious, and so faithful. I learned so much from my friend, lessons that I will always hold dear to my heart and never forgot.
I spent last night at the Champions, just like always. It was difficult to say the least. I longed to hear Chris breathe, I even longed to hear that stupid oxygen machine. I just wanted something to let me know that this was all just a dream, or a really cruel trick. But the silence of morning showed that Chris is indeed gone from this world. I'll admit I still am in shock, I'm not sure if it has really sunken in completely, and I fear for when it does. However, I will keep my eyes fixed on the Lord, just as Chris would want me to.
Goodbye Chris. I love you buddy and I can't wait to see you again. Please pray for us.