Wednesday, January 2, 2008


I’ve decided that my New Year Resolution is to keep a personal Journal, mostly typed but some of it may be handwritten from time to time. I’ve decided this because I have realized that writing my thoughts just calms me and I truly love to write. It’s like having a one-sided conversation on paper, if you will. Some of the stuff I write will be posted on my blog site while some of it may be kept personal for just me or whomever I choose to read it. In the Journal I will try to document the whole day (an abbreviated version of course) even if that means all I can seem to get out of my mind is a few sentences. Something is always better than nothing. So, what a better way to start of my New Year’s Resolution by starting this journal right now?

So, i actually started this Journal on the 1st, and i'll skip that entry, but here is my journal entry for today:

Busy, busy, busy! Today was a ridiculously busy day! I guess everyone’s New Year’s Resolution was to get a job and they all came into Work Force to do it. We must have had at least 60 applicants, seriously. Now that’s a lot! As usual, I didn’t get a lunch break until fairly late because I really didn’t want to fall behind. Eventually, I forced myself to take one a little after two because I felt myself getting a little snappy and stressed. I really tried to take an hour lunch for once, but I fell about 20 minutes short. Oh well, what can I say? I’m a workaholic when I have a full time job. I just wish I could apply my determination at work to my studies. Now that would be something amazing.
Speaking of studies, I checked my grades today. Out of five classes, three of my grades were up: B (ASci), B (Math45), C (NS4). Not bad so far, just waiting on two more now. I want as close to a 3.0 as possible, so hopefully my other two grades will be B’s. I’ll just have to wait. Man, isn’t that just life’s story: Waiting…
So, speaking of waiting, which requires patience, I realized that I get so wound up sometimes that it takes me FOREVER to relax. I’ve just never been a very patient person and I seem to want everything NOW. Yeah, I know, sounds completely bratty. God is teaching me a lesson of patience as well. I know I can’t have things instantaneously, I know he will not give them to me immediately, because that is exactly what I want. God wants me to wait for things, to actually take my time, relax. Yeah, “relax” really isn’t in my vocabulary actually. I’m horrible at it, so is my mother (yikes, something we have in common!). I realized today that relaxing is part of my problem as well. I need to be able to wind down from a stressful situation and become centered again. I tend to get to caught up in everything and get twisted so tightly that it seems impossible to just let go of whatever is stressing me. Now that I’ve fully come to realize this, I am able to work on it. Eventually, relaxing should become easier and easier, but for now it takes a little more time. But, God is amazing and he continues to fill me with peace and no matter how wound up I get I can always turn to Him. I guess what I’m saying is I am realizing my flaws one by one, and I’m working on them. I can’t guarantee perfection, but I can guarantee a workaholic’s effort (which is a lot, lol). So, patience and relaxation will come, and I feel that this is another start to something great. Man, what a few days with God this has been!

No comments: