Tuesday, April 22, 2008
I don't even know where to begin. My brain is so scrambled i just can't seem to get out a complete thought. I am so hurt, heartbroken, scared, anxious, angry, and so many other things. I have no idea why this is happening and I have no idea on what is right for me to do. I have been sick for two weeks now, haven't been able to hold down any food since Wednesday, and I barely have enough strength in my body to get down from my own bed. This is just ridiculous. My head says let it go but my heart says hold on. I hate that, i really do. I wish that my heart and my head could agree for once. I guess that's why they say love makes you blind because it really does. So, I let go because if this keeps going on I fear that I will honestly end up in the hospital. I can't do that to myself. I have come so far in my life, so far from where I've been and I am not going to take backward steps. I just pray that God can heal me quickly because even letting go isn't going to be easy. Please pray for me.