Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Bonding and Letting Go...

Yesterday I decided to make a trip to Madera to take my Grandpa out to lunch. I love him, but I've never been really close to him so I thought, seeing as we both miss Grandma so much, now would be a good time to bond. We went to Sal's Mexican Restuarant, one of Grandpa's favorite. Him and Grandma used to go there every week, or just about. It was really nice to spend time with him. He was waiting for me in the lobby of the retirement center and he looked so excited that he was going to go somewhere with his granddaughter. It was really a great bonding time, and I never knew Grandpa could talk so much! Towards the end of dinner, an elderly lady walked up to us and commented on our relationship. Grandpa points to me and says, "That's my granddaughter." He just looked so happy, and so proud. At the end of the night, i dropped grandpa back off at the retirement home. You could tell that the dinner really made his night, and i as really proud to be HIS granddaughter. I really would like to take him out to dinner more often...
With that said, today is a sad day. December 18th, 2007, Grandma's 87th birthday. Well, it would be if she was still with us. I really wanted to bring flowers to her grave, but the weather has been horrible and I don't really feel comfortable driving on the highway in this weather. I just might later on tonight anyways. I miss her so much. Donna told me a story about a woman who had lost a child (not the same thing as a grandmother, but still the same concept. She lost someone very close to her). The first holiday without her child was hard for the woman, but she made it through to the next year. The next year was hard as well, but she was a little more used to her child not being there. I guess the point is, losing someone that close to you is hard, and you'll always miss them. But as each year passes, you'll get used to them not being around and, eventually, it won't hurt as bad. What Donna told me really wasn't that comforting watsoever but i guess it's true that the truth can hurt. I'll miss her: on holidys, birthdays, and every day in between. Some days wll be worse than others but over time I'll get used to her not being here. Sometimes I think she's still with me, just a phone call away like she used to be. Now, she's just a prayer away and I trust that God is taking care of his loyal servant. So, Happy Birthday Grandma. I hope Heaven is throwing a party just for you. And don't worry, we'll have some champaigne for you down here :)

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