Friday, November 16, 2007

Bad Start to Yesterday...

So, yesterday morning I woke up at around 8am literally in tears. I had one of the worst dreams in my life and gave me the feeling of a heart-break. The dream was weird, as most dreams are. Me and my bro were at some sort of amusement park (Disneyland i thought at one point) and he was playing at a toy machine. There was a little fuzzy ball and the object of the game was to run into toys with the fuzzy ball and knock them down into a slot next to this big hole. If you got them in that slot, you won. While my bro was playing this game i all of a sudden found pictures in my hand. Most of them had one single woman in them, i recognized her in the dream but i can't remember her now. These pictures were fairly recent they seemed, some from halloween and some form a few days later. As i looked through them, i saw a few of them contained my grandmother. In every picture she was sobbing. Her eyes would be red and puffy with tears streaming down or her eyes would be shut with her mouth open as if she were sobbing and screaming something. I began to cry in my dream while my brother was telling me to shut-up. Then i woke up, and really began crying. I even woke Steve to help comfort me. I don't know what it was about the dream, but it really hurt me. I have never felt so much emotional hurt except when my grandma actually passed. It really offset my whole day yesterday and it is still affecting me now. It's like it's haunting me. I have never seen my grandmother cry, even when she was on her deathbed but in those pictures she looked so sad and hurt. Maybe she misses all of us? I just don't understand the dream, it was just really cruel and unnecessary. I mean, coping with her death has been enough, i don't want to dream about it too.

No comments: