100th Post!

Woohoo, it's my 100th post...Dunno if it's really worth celebrating but why not? Anyways, life has been fairly busy since my last post.
So, the family has sort of been at war. My brother made a dairly dumb decision in the beginning of October and neglected to tell anyone about it until November. Even then, he still neglected to tell my father and my mother actually had to contact my dad (and boy, that was messy). So, it's been tense. Christmas was nice though. My aunt and uncle came over along with my cousin and my grandpa. My gramps is such a cute old man, he really is a joy to have around. Some family friends came over for Christmas dinner and Dan joined us as well. I was really glad he volunteered to meet part of the family. It was kind of important to me.
Last week Dan was home. He came home on the 22nd and it was a great week. It was so nice to be with him again and just share some quality alone time as well as some great times with friends. Unfortunately, his stay wasn't very long and he had to return home on the 27th. That was hard for me. I really don't cry in public but i couldn't help it that morning. It's gonna be about six motnhs or so until I see him again. So, yeah, that's really going to suck. I'm just surviving his deployment one day at a time...
Oh! I also moved into my house 2 weeks ago. I love it! Thanks to EVERYONE who helped (Mj, Phillip, Dawn, Emily, Chris, Troy, and Heather). It would have been a much bigger task all by myself so I really appreciate all the help!
So, that's pretty much it for now. Work is still slow and life is still great. God is still amazing (and will always be).

Just Good

Wow...it's been a long while since I have updated! So, what's new with me? Not too much actually, and I'm finding out that's a pretty good thing.
I'm hoping to start CSUB in January. I say "hope" because I kind of did a late application. Oops! Oh well...I am also getting a house, I am very very blessed and oh so excited! Pixel will finally have a nice green backyard to play in and I guess I'm gonna have to learn how to mow the lawn! Haha. It will be a big responsibility but I am so excited for it. Hopefully I will be moving in this weekend...
What else?...I have a new man in my life and he is nothing short of AMAZING. I've known him since junior year and we began to grow closer over the summer. It's really been quite great. He's very different from anyone else that I have dated and that all is a very good thing. He's also in the Army and currently in Mississippi, which does make things hard, but it's worth it. God definitely blessed me with a wonderful man :)
Besides that, I've just been working full time and continuing to improve on my mental health. The meds are working quite well. I have more energy, my memory is better, and I don't get anxious like I used too. It's real nice. Unfortunately, these meds have some major side affects so my doc wanted to test some things out. By "things" i mean running blood tests to check on my kidneys, liver, glucose, and thyroid. Well, everything was good except for my thyroid. Turns out, its hypoactive, meaning I don't produce enough of the thyroid hormone. This mostly means weight gain, yuck. So, I'm waiting to see what my doc wants to do about it...
So, I'm just living life and enjoying every part of it right now. I feel like I have started this great new chapter and I'm feeling really good for once in a real long time. Life is good, and God is certainly amazing!

Slow

Life has been pretty slow lately, which has actually been a nice change. I'm taking a lot of time out for myself to fix everything and that is going really well. I'm pretty proud of my progress so far and I hope other people are noticing a positive change in me as well. I've been careful with getting back in to the swing of things. I work part time so that I'm able to still go through counseling and let my body continue to adjust to the meds that I have been prescribed. I really want to go full force ahead and be extremely busy and working hard and going to school and keeping a busy social life but I know if I did that right now I would just crumble under all the pressure so I've been learning to take things a little slower and hopefully soon I will be back to a normal schedule and a normal life. Beyond that, not a whole lot has been going on here. Just friends, family, and work. That's bout it...I'll update later.

New Chapter

So, I feel like I'm starting a new chapter of my life and, I must say, I'm pretty stoked about it. I've been working a lot on me through an Intensive Outpatient therapy program (IOP) that I attend four times a week. It's suppose to be a three week program but I have managed to make it into four, haha. I've learned a lot to be honest. I've learned a lot about myself, and I've learned how to cope in a different and much healthier way than I generally do. Also, I am on medication for bipolar disorder and they are actually helping. I've never been a big medication fan but for once in a long time I feel stable. I still have ups and downs like any normal human being but that aren't as dramatic and catastrophic as they used to be. I feel kind of like I have my life back and I thank God every day that he gave me the strength and the courage to go get the help I needed and to be able to be so open about it. This new chapter is looking good, real good. I'm healthy and happy and things just seem to keep getting better. I have finished everything for Azusa Pacific University so I'm anxiously waiting to hear back from them. If accepted, which I am fairly confident about, I will be so ecstatic. It's a great school and I think it will be really positive as well to be surrounded by a large body of believers and to actually study God's word in my courses. Oh, and there a few other things going on as well but I don't want to ruin any surprises just yet :). Life is good, again. I've gotten rid of the things that were so toxic and have replaced them with positive influences and a lot of hard self work. I'm living life and loving every moment of it, just like I used to. New Chapter, New Life, another chance from God. Isn't He amazing?

Guns, Camelot, Games, and Pool

So, you know how sometimes you just need a full day jam-packed with great people and great fun? Yeah, I've been needing one of those and yesterday was definitely it!
Went to Church in the AM and I helped out MJ with the Jr. Highers. I really liked it actually. Small group but I thought MJ's message was very good and they seemed to grasp it. After that, I went shooting with Dan, Justin, and Shelby. When we got out there we joined Thomas, Eric, and a kid named Slink, I think. Anyways, it was wicked awesome! I haven't shot anything besides a pellet or BB Gun up till yesterday so it was awesome shooting shotguns, rifles, a hundgun, and, oh yeah, an SKS. That thing was freakin' awesome! I even have footage of me shooting that Shelby took so hopefully that will be loaded up on my myspace or something. After that, we headed to Camelot (Shelby, Dan, Justin and I)and we did some arcade games, rode the go-carts and played some mini golf (i totally lost, ouch). Then, we joined up with Garrett and headed back to my place for some hanging out and drinking games. Then (yes, there's more) we headed to Corner Pocket and met up with a few more people. After that, we did a Taco Bell run and I went to bed. It was a jam-packed day of activities but it was so much fun! Anyways, I had to write, I'm still so stoked over shooting, it was awesome!

God Moment...

So, you know when you just have one of those amazing God moments and you just want to shout it out? Yeah, I totally had one of those last night. I was reading Give It All To Him by Max Lucado last night. First off, this short book is really amazing. It basically retells the reason why Jesus died on the cross but in a more modern, relate able way (seeing as I wasn't alive thousands of years ago). There was a few sentences that really struck me and I really heard God speak to me through them: "Jesus himself chose the nails...So Jesus Himself swung the hammer." Wow! What a perspective this gave me. I was blown away. I instantly heard God telling me that He was going to lay out choices for me, that He was going to clear the path for me, and that He was going to cure me of whatever "illness" the doctor's say I have. it is going to be a journey but man, I got so excited! It's times like these that I really love, when I'm down in the dumps, carrying all of my burdens and guilts, etc. and God comes along and lifts them right of my shoulders and reassures me that everything will be alright. It's great. It's actually amazing!

A Lifetime

Time to update, again...What's new? Too much is all I can say and I really don't feel like typing it all out quite yet. Here are a few things though: Steve and I are pretty much done talking. I don't know how I feel about that yet. One moment I feel sort of relieved because there is no arguing or anything but there were so many great aspects to our relationship too that I miss. Like the play fighting, the joking name-calling, and the RC racing. So, it's quite and adjustment that came at a REAL bad time, I've been going to a counselor and a psych for my manic episodes and they are almost completely positive that they are going to diagnose me with bipolar disorder. This means, a life time of medications and counseling from time to time to make sure everything is on track. So, that's really hard to accept right now but, there is worse than a mental disorder. I'll be okay as long as I keep trying...My friends and family have been great though. Thanks to all those who have texted me just to make sure i was doing okay, it really helps start my day. So, this is my life for now. A support group, and no work...
Oh! And i have a new love :). His name is Pixel and he is a one year old chihuahua terrier mix..He's great and helps a lot with aall this...
Anywho, thats bout it...ttyl