87 inspiring years....

My grandmother had recently been admitted to the hospital because of heart problems. She had been there four days until her body finally gave out today at 10:15 am. I don't even know what to say to this news seeing as i'm sort of in denial myself. I mean, i know she's gone...I was there to see her body laying on the bed (I missed her death by ten minutes). I was there with her, all weekend, watching her stuggle in and out of consciousness. I was there to give her one last kiss as the nurse prepared to move her body into the morgue downstairs. I know she's gone, but it's just so hard to beleive. It's so hard to beleive that my role model, my grandmother, mother, support system, fan, all in one, is actually gone. I just wanted to pick up the phone this afternoon and dial her number, praying this was all just some messed up dream but i know it's not. Today is the day i have been dreading for years, and now that it's here, i feel so lost.
I do feel some comfort though in knowing that she's home. I know she is now home with the Lord and that she is looking down at all of us. She was an AMAZING woman with some amazing spiritual gifts. I want to be just like her, i want my faith in the Lord to be just like hers.
It was nice seeing how many people's lives my grandmother affected. Many visitors came in this weekend from the old church and around time. Family flew in and drove in from all over to be at her side as she struggled this weekend and i am happy to say that just about all her family and friends got to see her just one last time.
I was so scared to leave her side all weekend. I truly didn't want to lose my grandma, my foundation, my best friend, but i know that her time was up and i knew that the Lord was calling for her...I just wish i could have a little more time, but don't we all?
I don't want to be sad because i know she wouldn't want me to shed too many tears but i just can't help it. It was so heartbreaking to watch Grandpa at her bedside, crying silent tears and just staring at her as she laid there. It broke my heart when he said, "I lost the love of my life".
At 87, my grandma was more than just Dorothy Mae Whitehead. She was a mother, a wife, a grandmother, a great-grandmother, a beleiver and probably the most stable person in my life. She was my mother as well as my grandmother and she was my rock. Grandma always new how to cheer me up, even when i would never admit anything was wrong. She was always there for me, sacrificing herself and her needs jsut put a smile on my face. Without her, i wouldn't be the person i am today...So, i am sad, but i know her 87 years were filled with joy and great memories. I only pray that i could be half of what she was because she was nothing short of amazing. So here's to grandma: I promise to make you proud.